Pink - Love the Color, Hate the Campaign

Can you tell pink is my favorite color? Anyone who knows me knows my favorite color is pink.  There is something warm, welcoming, and very happy about pink to me. I’ve always felt that way. I chose the background color for this blog based on my love for pink and NOT because of some ridiculous, greedy campaign connected to my diagnosis (can you see where I’m going with this post?). 

I’ve always loved pink. In my middle school home, where the carpet was ugly green in my room, and for the first time I was given the freedom to choose the color of my walls, I painted them pink (then plastered Bruce Springsteen and Madonna posters over them, naturally). I thought of it as a flower—pink blossom, green stem and leaves. I have enough pink clothes that I have a "pink pile" for laundry (the first step is admitting it).

I despise the pink ribbon campaign. Even before I looked into it and learned there are many women like me who realize how inflated and (most importantly, since people who buy the pink ribbon crap think they’re helping) unhelpful it actually is in curing cancer. Once you research the amount of money the pink ribbon campaign and the Susan G. Komen foundation rakes in and compare it to the amount that actually goes to research conducted to cure cancer, you’ll agree that it’s a huge scam. The thinkbeforeyoupink.org watchdogs have exposed it all on their site.

Additionally, the SGK foundation funds animal testing, which is the first reason I’d never give them a dime. Animal testing is neither ethical nor useful in curing cancer. Many groups conduct serious cancer-curing work without animal tests—the American Breast Cancer Foundation, Keep A Breast Foundation, Breast Cancer Fund, Dr. Susan Love Research Foundation, and my favorite, BreastCancer.org. Animal testing has been found over and over again to be unreliable. For example; Taxol—a powerful chemo drug which I was given, was pulled off the market for many years because it was ineffective in treating the cancer we infected animals with. Yet, today doctors and scientists regard it as one of the most effective drugs in curing cancer (I’m an example of its effectiveness) in humans. There are countless other examples.

Just as deadly as the gun;
a bucket of fried cruelty and hypocrisy.

Oh, and please allow me to point out the hypocrisy in some of the pinked out products. The pink KFC bucket of fried chicken flesh was the worst—talk about marketing something that is strongly linked to cancer and has attracted media attention for being grossly unhealthy, now eaten out of a pink container so your money can go back to fight the cancer you’re getting from eating it. Just as bad, are all the products with harsh carcinogenic chemicals, pollutants, and toxic materials made into pretty pink merchandise—falsely promoted as helping to find a “cure”. It’s rather insulting when you think about it all.

Look closely, there's a ribbon on the barrel.

Lower on the list of reasons I hate the pink ribbon campaign is a personal insult to having my favorite color smeared all over athletes, plastic toys, yogurt cups, “ta-ta’s” t-shirts, buildings, and even diapers (doubly insulting). This was (is!) my favorite color—used, abused, and exploited like a bear forced to perform in a circus. What a beautiful color, beat down and turned into something terrible. I refuse to let Susan or the Colonel take my color. I still love pink (even though my reaction to discovering a pink ribbon on the tag of a beautiful pink scarf in the store is akin to that of a dog who’s been given a green bean as a “treat” for the first time—disappointment and disgust), I just look harder for things that are truly pink for pink’s sake, which is really difficult in October.

If you are interesting in learning more, read Ingrid Newkirk’s Huffington Post blog post on the SGK foundation, and visit the Physician’s Committee for Responsible Medicine (PCRM) site for information on unnecessary and cruel animal testing. And if you’d like to donate to a cause that helps fight/prevent cancer without cruel animal tests or overblown campaigns that steal people’s favorite colors, visit one of the organizations I listed above. And please don’t be fooled by the pink ribbon campaign. Friends don’t let friends give money to greedy animal-torturing, corporate-funded, favorite-color-stealing foundations.

In case you're counting, I was able to get the word pink in this post 25 times. I love pink. 26. Nailed it. 

No Means No

As I approach the end of the line with breast cancer treatments, I realized that a large part of the hardship—at least for me—is arguing coming to an agreement with the doctors. Along with harsh medications, scarring treatments, loss of time at work, sickening side effects, and rising doctor bills, came the abundant stress of debating with doctors on what should/will be done to me. It’s not easy to challenge medical professionals. I’ve had to not only research each test, treatment, and medication they so matter-of-factly want me to submit to, but also find the courage to look objectively at each and speak up. They are not all necessary. Contrary to common belief, much of what doctors want us to do is not needed. Most modern medical care regimens fit the standard of what a hundred doctors before them have done and fill the wallets of the medical upper-ups, insurance companies and most of all—pharmaceutical companies. We all should be more skeptical when visiting with doctors and far less willing to just take their word for it.

Now, let me jump down from my soapbox here. Just had to get that off my chest [insert breast joke here].

As I approached the end of radiation, my traditional oncologist asked to see me so I can start hormone-blocking therapy once radiation is finished. When does it end? Instantly, I am inclined to say ‘no’! But I decided (with a little push from my husband) to hear him out and learn what exactly I’m saying no to. Here’s the recommended cocktail: Zolodex, Femara, and Tamoxifen (not all at once, but given in a planned out order/length based on my situation). Each of them is highly regarded and is trusted in preventing recurrence of breast cancer. Studies (that I’ve read independently of what my doctor has told me) show a decrease in recurrence by taking these hormone blockers.

So, why wouldn’t I take them, you ask? Mainly because this is only a preventative measure and not a treatment to kill current cancer. Maybe part of my reason for declining this recommended regimen is also a desire to have control, even if just over one last piece of all this. I’m not sure. But one thing I’m certain of is this decision to say no.

Another big reason for my refusal of taking these drugs is the long list of side effects. Included in the list are: mood swings, hot flashes (I couldn’t possibly take any more!), loss of libido, weight gain, bone pain, headaches, nausea/vomiting, drowsiness, fatigue, high cholesterol (what?), vision problems, vaginal bleeding, shortness of breath, hair thinning, dizziness, chest pain, pelvic pain, and “difficulty speaking or understanding.” No way I’m putting up with that list of shit along with the residual effects of chemo, surgery, and radiation.

As I said, I’m quite confident in my decision. Actually more so now than I have been with any of my cancer-related decisions this far. So, despite their best efforts, my answer is no. I will not go to the prom with you, Tamoxifen.