Wednesectomy

It’s been a confusing, frightening, and frustrating couple of weeks with regards to doctors, test results and more specifically, what to do from here.

First, the good news…..my post-chemo MRI showed no sign of the tumors and my enflamed lymph nodes have returned to normal size…..[pause for applause]. This was just the exciting news I needed. All those awful things I said about chemotherapy—and it worked! Then again, I suffered significantly so it damn well should work! I’m not taking back what I said. Chemo knows how I feel about it.

After a light visit with the oncologist, it was refreshing to leave the cancer center on cloud nine from the positive news. He advised that a lumpectomy is still necessary to remove the tissue where the cancer started, and then if the pathology report comes back negative from that tissue, I’d be considered “in remission”. I can handle that. Good news indeed! Not so fast—there’s still the surgeon’s appointment to go, and he had a much different take.

The surgeon seemed to almost ignore all the hard work chemo did in killing my tumors, and the hard work I did in staying alive during the battle. He recommended a total mastectomy to be sure all the tissue and residual cancer cells (which do not show up on the MRI) are removed. I told him I wanted to start small and see what the pathology report shows. He then said I will need to do radiation (WHAT? But I ruled that out several posts ago! Apparently, Dr. Scalpel hasn’t been reading my blog). Each time I tried to tell him that I’m not doing radiation, he pushed back with smarty-doctor reasons that I should. Finally, we agreed that he would show my case to his radiologist for his opinion and he’d talk with the radiation oncologist as well (but I think you can predict what she’ll say).

Like most doctors, Mr. Mastectomy didn’t call me on the day he promised. Instead, 3 days later. Again, we played a verbal game of tug-o-war where he quoted the radiation oncologist's recurrence percentage without radiation and I quoted the same expert’s side effect list. I argued that if there was a 100% chance of NO recurrence with radiation (and surgery, and chemo), I’d do it and live with all the lasting damage. But there is not and since nothing is a guarantee (except the awful side effects), I’d like to take this one step at a time. It has become apparent that Captain Incision was trying to get me to either consent to the partial mastectomy with radiation or total mastectomy—one of the two only. But eventually he settled for the partial without radiation since that’s what I chose. This is still my decision, right?

Tomorrow I’ll undergo the partial mastectomy (also called quadectomy, since it is the removal of ¼ the breast). The tissue will be taken to the pathology lab and I’ll forever miss it. I’m optimistic and anticipate good news from the pathologists.

I’m quite nervous about the surgery, yet confident in my decision. I accept the risks and know this is right for my body right now. If something goes wrong, please honor me with vegan choices. And if everything goes right, please still honor me with vegan choices. <3